There are no winners.
“Instead of asking, “Have I worked hard enough to deserve to rest?, I’ve started asking, ‘Have I rested enough to do my most loving and meaningful work?’. “-Nicola Jane Hobbs
Today we are experiencing an opportunity. An emotional unraveling. A mental health breakdown. We are bombarded in social media with images of success, of what I would call the winner mentality. The ones who triumphed over all odds. The ones who not only made it through, but today they are stronger and all the wiser because of it.
But today, the secret is out: there is no winner. Behind the stage is a child waiting to be free. A child that is hoping to be validated in her emotions, embraced in her sadness, loved for all of her faults. She wants someone to tell her, she is worthy of love, not because of what she does, but because of WHO she is. And she wants that person to be you.
Today we are experiencing an opportunity. As we unravel, we start to see ourselves for who and what we are: a living organism that is more than just its parts. We are indivisible from the whole. As in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), we are a microcosm of the macrocosm. Today, as we unravel and breakdown, we reveal something so important to ourselves: why, then the phones are shut off, our work schedule on hold, our exercise groups on vacation, and our entire outside world on pause, do we feel empty? Or by the same token, why, when our phones are on, our work schedule filled to the brim, our exercise groups waking up at 5am, and our entire outside world on play, do we feel overwhelmed and burnt out?
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) what we might say is that our Jing, Qi, and Shen completely being depleted. Our Jing, being what we inherit from our parents, our DNA, our material being when we are first born. Our Qi, being the energy and flow that runs through our body, our life force. Our Shen is our Spirit or “presence”, what some would say it the light in our eyes. Many TCM practitioners would say, you can see a persons Shen by looking into their eyes. It relates to consciousness and the desire to live life.
Today, we are experiencing an opportunity. An opportunity to pause in front of each circumstance, interaction, object, and emotion, and see what they bring up in us. Understand that life is not about how it LOOKS, but how it FEELS.
I would argue that today, as the world is starting to reflect on the lonely toll that the covid years have had on us, we get to ask ourselves: How do I love myself? Or even before that: how have I been taught to love myself? Perhaps then we will be able to replace feelings like anxiety, depression, burnout, overwhelmed, and fear, with hope, calm, connection, and gratitude.
Today more than ever, in this post covid era where people are not only struggling to survive, but struggling to survive alone, the future looks daunting. We all seem to have levels of PTSD, and some CPTSD, and feel expected to deal with it all on their own.
In my practice as an Acupuncturist and practitioner of Chinese Medicine, I have had the opportunity to witness this unraveling; this breakdown. People being overwhelmed most often by what they think the expectations are of them, and their feeling of not being able to fulfil those expectations. They are not the winner. And every day they wake up and do their best, and every night they sleep feeling defeated.
Well, today we have an opportunity. We have the opportunity to tell ourselves: THERE IS NO WINNER, and WE ARE NOT ALONE. Burnout is felt by everyone. For a generation of people told that their worth was based on what they accomplished, it only makes sense that we would try to do more and more and more. But is life about doing more and more? If it is, it doesn’t seem to be working out for most of us.
Today our opportunity is in finding ways to embrace our fears. In knowing that behind that success story is a complex set of emotions, that is no more or no less than that feeling of emptiness before going to bed or in the early hours of the morning. So this leaves us with the opportunity to find ways to understand ourselves: Who am I?
But how do we do this? Perhaps through a pause, a breath or two or three, a connection with a gentle breeze, a soft embrace, a stillness.
How might we do this? By the only way we CAN: by embodying the present in a different way. Not as a moment, but as a STATE OF MIND. By knowing that some things can wait until tomorrow. How can we do this? Perhaps by catching our breath when we feel ourselves rushing our kids out the door. By taking a long look at our bodies in the mirror, and asking: what do I see? By sharing silence with a stranger. By making time for meaningful conversations that allow for a shift in our sense of being. By saying what we truly feel and not being afraid to try.
Today we have an opportunity: to grow in stillness, together. May we take that opportunity to get to know ourselves and each other. May we learn to love ourselves in all our faulty glory.